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A brutally honest 27-question diagnostic that scores your fella-ness and tells you exactly which one you are. Backed by vibes, peer pressure, and questionable science.

PressTanytime to take the test

Take the test

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Three steps to the truth

1
Step 1
Answer 27 questions
Rapid-fire scenarios about your daily choices, group-chat conduct, and snack ethics. Takes about five minutes and roughly zero brain cells.
2
Step 2
The Fella Engine scores you
Our deeply unscientific algorithm weighs your answers across six fella dimensions and computes your official Fella Score.
3
Step 3
Get your diagnosis
Receive the verdict, Smart Fella or Fart Smella, plus a shareable report you can wave triumphantly in your friends' faces.

Take the test

Which one are you, really?

Fart Smella

Drawback: Replies “lol” to genuinely serious questions
Drawback: Microwaves fish in a shared office kitchen
Drawback: Has 47 unread “urgent” emails and zero concern
Drawback: Confidently, cheerfully wrong about everything

Smart Fella

Recommended

Better with Closer: Reads the whole thread before replying
Better with Closer: Owns a water bottle and, crucially, uses it
Better with Closer: Inbox at zero, mind mysteriously clear
Better with Closer: Says “I don't know” like an absolute legend

What you actually get

Every test unlocks a full breakdown you can screenshot, share, and argue about for weeks.

Your Fella Score
A single 0–100 number that settles the debate once and for all. No appeals.
Six-dimension breakdown
See exactly where you lean smart, and where you lean, regrettably, fart.
Red-flag detector
The three habits quietly dragging your score into the danger zone.
Shareable result card
A bordered, brag-worthy card engineered specifically for the group chat.
Improvement plan
Five concrete moves to climb from certified fart to respectable smart.
Official certificate
Frame-ready proof of your fella status. Mostly a joke. Mostly.

Lives have been changed

“I put 'Smart Fella, verified' on my résumé and got two callbacks.”
Leo M.
Job seeker
“I made my whole team take it. Morale is at an all-time low and I've never been happier.”
Dana R.
Manager
“Finally, science confirms what my wife has been saying for years.”
Marcus T.
Smart Fella (barely)
“The red-flag detector called me out for microwaving fish at the office. Accurate and cruel.”
Priya S.
Reformed
“Scored a 12. Absolutely devastating. I hate this quiz”
Greg P.
Certified Fart Smella
“Took it six times hoping for a better score. The engine is incorruptible.”
Sam K.
Persistent